Appropriate Behavior 2014 Movie Review

『Between Love and Identity: An Honest Journey of a Bisexual Woman Searching for Herself』

🎥 Film Overview

🎬 Title: Appropriate Behavior (2014)
🌍 Country: 🇺🇸 USA
🎞️ Genre: Romantic Comedy / Queer Drama / Autobiographical Indie
🗓️ Release: 2014 (Premiered at Sundance Film Festival)
📢 Director · Screenwriter · Lead: Desiree Akhavan

👩‍💼 Cast: Desiree Akhavan – Shirin
Rebecca Henderson – Maxine

🧩 Story Deep Dive (Spoilers)

🧕 Between Tradition and Modernity, the Hidden ‘Self’

Appropriate Behavior is a frank and sharp comedy-drama set in Brooklyn, New York. More than just a romantic comedy, the film explores the complexity of identity and the universal experience of relationship breakdown through a unique lens.

💘 Crossroads of Identity and Post-Breakup Chaos

The story revolves around Shirin, who has just broken up with her girlfriend Maxine.

Shirin: A 20-something Iranian-American bisexual woman. She struggles between three identities: the dutiful daughter of a traditional Iranian immigrant family, a politically correct bisexual, and a Brooklyn hipster. In all of these, she finds herself “never enough” and adrift.

Narrative Structure: The film interweaves Shirin’s chaotic present (new job, new roommates, disastrous dating attempts) with flashbacks of her relationship with Maxine—how it began and how it crumbled. This smartly constructed narrative echoes Woody Allen’s Annie Hall, effectively mirroring Shirin’s inner state.

💥 Shirin’s Three ‘Inappropriate’ Arenas

The title “Appropriate Behavior” ironically highlights the three areas of Shirin’s life where she constantly feels she is failing.

🌈 Family: Coming Out and Cultural Expectations

Shirin hides the fact that she is bisexual from her affluent, traditional Iranian immigrant parents. They only know Maxine as her “roommate” and keep asking why she suddenly moved out.

• The Pressure of Double Life: For Shirin, “appropriate behavior” means living up to her parents’ expectations of a dutiful Persian daughter. Keeping this secret drives a wedge in her relationship with Maxine, who grows tired of being hidden and ultimately ends the relationship.

• Racial Isolation: At family gatherings, Shirin feels alienated when talking with other Iranian women. Torn between her cultural background and her Brooklyn hipster lifestyle, she experiences the loneliness of being an “identity misfit.”

🌀 Sexual Identity: Conflicts Within the Gay Community

Shirin’s bisexuality makes her an “inappropriate” figure even within the gay community.

• Prejudice Against Bisexuals: Maxine dismisses Shirin’s bisexuality as “just a phase”, suggesting she will eventually return to men. This reflects the exclusion bisexuals often face in queer spaces—“not gay enough.”

• Dating Disasters: After the breakup, Shirin’s attempts at dating end in disaster. A particularly awkward and humiliating attempt at a threesome with a married couple plays into stereotypes (“bisexuals always want threesomes”) while simultaneously exposing Shirin’s emptiness and inability to find true connection—even in sexual encounters.

🌓 Career: The Reality of a ‘Directionless 20-Something’

Despite holding a master’s degree in journalism, Shirin works clumsily at a Brooklyn preschool teaching five-year-olds filmmaking—something she barely understands herself.

• The Millennial Drift: Her professional misfit status symbolizes the broader millennial struggle of “doing something but without soul”, living with constant dissatisfaction and anxiety.

• Lack of Self-Awareness: Shirin’s blunt honesty often comes across as immaturity. Her line, “Don’t I look like I’m dead inside?” is both comical and revealing, exposing her defense mechanism of cloaking cynicism and self-deprecation in everyday humor.

🎥 Candor and Deadpan Humor

With this film, Akhavan proved her talent as director/writer/actor.

• Deadpan Comedy: The film draws humor from Shirin’s deadpan delivery and awkward everyday moments. While following in the tradition of New York indie comedies like Girls and Frances Ha, Shirin’s cultural and sexual identity adds a sharper, more distinctive perspective.

• Relationship Realism: Shirin and Maxine’s relationship doesn’t collapse due to one dramatic event but rather small misunderstandings, hidden secrets, and personality clashes. Akhavan portrays sex scenes without unnecessary glamorization or caricature, focusing instead on subtle shifts of power and the authentic discomfort within relationships.

🌍 Ending and Message of Hope

Although Shirin does not win Maxine back, the film shows her moving past obsession and beginning to rebuild her life.

• Growth and Acceptance: Shirin decides to attempt coming out again to her parents and finds some stability at her new job. Instead of striving for perfect “appropriate behavior,” she begins to embrace her complex self.

• Final Scene: On a subway platform, Shirin runs into Maxine. They wave goodbye, acknowledging the end of their relationship but also signaling their readiness to move forward separately. A bittersweet but hopeful closure.

Appropriate Behavior is not just about overcoming a breakup—it is a humorous and moving exploration of integrating one’s complex identities (Iranian, American, bisexual, and a drifting twenty-something).

🎯 Personal Rating

💕 Love Scene Intensity: ♥♥
⭐ Rating: ★★★